Author: Luisa Perkins
•8:11 AM

Kathleen, that ever-cheerful blogger from Anchorage, Alaska, came up with today's NaBloPoMo stumper. "Why do people hurt other people?"

As I tried to digest this question, child of the 80s that I am, I immediately thought of the Tears for Fears song quoted in this post title. Then I ruminated upon how much better Michael Andrews's cover of "Mad World" is than the original (as much as I love it). Next I pondered how very creepy yet cool the movie Donnie Darko is.

Which led me, of course, to wonder in pharisaical manner whether watching an R-rated movie that I've already seen violates my 'no R-rated movies' rule (I imposed this on myself a couple of years ago). Because I love The Matrix so much, and why was it rated R anyway? Dumb: I've seen PG-13 movies that were way more violent. Oh, and Blade Runner is rated R, too; that's one of my all-time favorites, dang it. And....

Oh, wait. Kathleen asked a really hard, very serious question. Focus, girl; focus.

And all I have to answer is this. When someone hurts me or someone I love, I try to remember that all ugliness is born of pain and fear. I don't think people would hurt each other if they weren't hurting or grieving in some way, a fact of which they might not even be conscious.

I could try and expand on this in poetic or allegorical manner, but that's the truth as I know it, plain and simple. Thanks for asking, Kathleen! I can check one more day off as 'done' on my mental NaBloPoMo calendar.
This entry was posted on 8:11 AM and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 comments:

On 10/11/07 , painted maypole said...

i think you're right about hurt being born of pain and fear. But yet some people seem to revel in it so much...

And no R rated movies? Perhaps putting restrictions on yourself that include a rating that is given in a somewhat arbitraty manner by other people with different values isn't quite the way to go. just a thought. Although I admire the idea, oftentimes R rated movies are the ones that really tackle the social issues, but have been rated R so that they can show the brutal realities (drugs, violence, sex, bad language) more truthfully. Movies that do that gratuitously however, are probably best to skip.

 
On 10/11/07 , Luisa Perkins said...

Painted Maypole, I appreciate your insightful comment. Let me explain my self-imposed restriction.

For many years, the leaders of my church have counseled its members to avoid R-rated movies. It's counsel, not a commandment, but I believe these leaders (though human) to be inspired by God. A couple of years ago I decided to exercise simple trust and faith instead of mentally arguing with them whenever a film came out that seemed 'important' enough to disregard their counsel. I don't know whether that makes sense or not, but there it is.

 
On 10/11/07 , Kimberly said...

I really like your thoughts on pain and fear being the source of hurtful behaviour. That's a good thing to keep in mind when dealing with a particularly thoughtless or cruel person.

As for the R-rated movies question, I think you explained your feelings quite well. I agree that the rating system seems arbitrary at times, but following the counsel of leaders you trust and respect is very admirable and even inspirational. There is too little faith in this world of ours, and it's nice to see a clear example of it. Kudos to you!

 
On 10/11/07 , Sirdar said...

I like the way you thought about that. Good answer. I was thinking on the same vein that people are mean because they feel insecure and or somehow not very confident and that is their way to show their frustrations. That, or they are just being dicks.

 
On 10/11/07 , dawn said...

I agree with what you say. I also think there is occasion when people are just thoughtless, or don't know what will hurt or offend someone, and that someone is offended, and thinks the person was mean. I don't refer to physical pain or the obvious mental abuse, but the things said in passing that seem mean, but were not meant to offend.

 
On 11/11/07 , Adriana Velez said...

I was just about to write the same thing as Dawn just did. Sometimes I'm just so far into my own head that I don't notice the way my actions affect other people.

On the other side of that, I try to remember that the world does not revolve around me when I feel slighted by someone else. Except that the world DOES revolve around me, and why can't everyone just remember that?!?

 
On 11/11/07 , Alice said...

(*)"Remember, as children of god, we are to act and not be acted upon. We control how we react to others' poor decisions. We can use our AGENCY to choose the correct way to respond."


*This is very roughly quoted. Possibly 100% paraphrased.

 
On 17/11/07 , so grateful to be Mormon! said...

hi novembrance -- very neat what you said here and i liked how you started writing this post because of a question i said in my post. blessings, kathleen :)

ps. the r rated movie thing is a big deal to me, too. has been ever since i joined our church 2 1/2 years ago. good job.

 
On 17/11/07 , Lena said...

I think you nailed that one.