Author: Luisa Perkins
•10:02 AM
My apologies, Soap Opera Sunday fans: this weekend was too hectic for me to write the thrilling conclusion of "The Princess and the Pauper." I'll do my best to get it posted in time for Mother's Day.

My new blogpal Paul tagged me for a meme last week, and I promised I'd play. I've participated in many memes in the past several months; I just went through my entire "Dancing With Myself" tag file to refresh my memory as to what I've already revealed in this setting. The result is that I'm a little discouraged. I'm not sure what else I can disclose that will be the slightest bit interesting and fresh. But here's my best shot.

1) I have a phobia of spiders; here's how it came about. When I was eight, we lived in an old house on a really cool piece of property. In the bedroom I shared with my sisters, there were French doors to the outside, but the doors were so completely covered with thick ivy that they couldn't be opened.

Our bunk bed was up against the doors, so I could see through the glass panes as I lay in bed. Guess what liked to nest in that dense foliage? Many, many black widow spiders. So I'd lie in bed, terrified to look at the poisonous little things hanging just a few inches from my nose, but more terrified NOT to look at them. Because what if one somehow got in through a crack while I wasn't looking? Gah.

2) If I went to live on a desert island and could only take one cosmetic with me, I would choose brown eyeliner. This is assuming that lip balm would be considered not a cosmetic, but an essential, life- and sanity-saving substance. If forced to choose between eyeliner and lip balm, I would pick lip balm every time.

3) When I was 18, I stayed up all night one night reading The Clan of the Cave Bear. When dawn came and I turned the last page, I felt sick and dirty. It was the grossest book binge ever. I'm not sure why; I've read books far worse since. It was probably the 'all in one gulp' factor.

4) Two horrendously bad movies that I love are Made in Heaven, starring Timothy Hutton and Kelly McGillis, and A Time of Destiny, starring Timothy Hutton and William Hurt. Timothy made these movies back to back; it must have been a tough time for him, since the critics despised them both. But I adore them. The last time I checked, neither was available on DVD, but I still hold out hope.

5) I once saw Timothy Hutton in real life (he lives not too far away from us). He was at The Red Rooster buying his son an ice cream cone.

6) I've never eaten a Cheeto. But I'd be willing to try one if Jenna were willing to try escargots, foie gras, or frog's legs. Yeah: it's never gonna happen.

7) I feel as big as a house right now. And not your average Cape Cod or bungalow. No. I feel like a super-duper McMansion on a postage-stamp-sized lot, the kind you see in places like Rancho Cordova, Sandy, or Schaumburg. My only comfort that in four to six weeks, I'll lose at least ten pounds or so through a Miracle Diet I've used several times before. And what a miracle it will be; can't wait to see you, Baby Girla.

Thanks for the tag, Paul! I know many of my readers have done this meme recently, so I will tag only newbie Charrette this time around. Charrette, it's your first meme! Will you play?
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14 comments:

On 5/5/08 , Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I just love learning more about you!

 
On 5/5/08 , Jenna said...

Okay, that is seriously not a fair deal. How can you have lived as long as you have and not EVER tried a Cheeto? Seriously! A cheesy snack food for an amphibian's limb???? Not fair at all. I'm sending your whole family a year's supply of Cheetos. If I can't get to you, I can at least convert the chilluns.

 
On 5/5/08 , charrette said...

Dying to read that next installment of The Princess and The Pauper!

And delighted you'd tag me for my first meme (whatever that is...I think I can figure it out!) :)

I truly am new to the blogging world.
But I'm old everywhere else, so this will be fun! Thanks!

 
On 5/5/08 , Anonymous said...

Awesome. Thanks for doing this.

No Cheetos? Do you have some little known phobia of having orange covered fingers?

Also, I totally understand the spider phobia. Wow!

Paul

 
On 5/5/08 , anjmae said...

I, for one, cannot stand those nasty orange-coloured bit of styrofoam that pose as snack food. Yet, for some reason, ALL of my children, and my husband, love them. I will never know why. I do like that movie Made in Heaven. I loved Timothy Hutton in Taps...

 
On 5/5/08 , Brillig said...

1. Brian is insanely afraid of spiders. Oh my gosh, he's hilarious. So when we got our new phones a few weeks back, I chose "Eensy Weensy Spider" as the ringtone that plays when he calls me. Hahahaha.

2. I had no idea that you were in love with brown eyeliner. I think I need to see you in person again... It's been to long for me to picture your eyelined eyes. And that's usually the sort of thing I notice. Sigh.

3. I'm guessing it's an icky book? Never heard of it. Must be one of those weird Luisa things... :-D

4 and 5. Okay, of all the actors you COULD be obsessed with, you choose him?

6. WHAT????!!!! No Cheetos? How do you LIVE??

7. Ah yes, the miracle diet of childbirth. (Do you suppose that if I put my feet up in stirrups and push really really hard that I, too, can lose 10 pounds? Or does there have to be a baby involved?) You can only imagine how disappointed I was when I went in for my 6-week postpartum check-up after Isaac was born and learned that I actually weighed the exact same weight as I did the day I was induced. OUCH!

 
On 5/5/08 , Brillig said...

Oh, I HATE it when I publish a comment and THEN I notice the typos. In #2, you KNOW that I meant to say "TOO long." Surely there are others, but that's at least one that I normally don't do...

 
On 5/5/08 , SydneyMin said...

Great facts about Luisa. I absolutely agree about the spiders! I had to sleep many years in the basement bedrooms since the younger children always had the rooms closer to my parents. I hate thinking of spiders near my bed! So, I guess a singular cheetos is cheeto??? I never see it except in the plural, maybe because no one ever eats just one. Apparently you either eat none (as is the case here) or multiple!

 
On 5/5/08 , Lauren said...

Really? Brown eyeliner? Why not a deep charcoal or, my personal favorite, a rich sable? Chapstick is a must, yes, and I'm sure I would pick it every time, too.

Speaking of Cheetos: Mom and I stopped at a neighborhood Blimpies on Saturday afternoon and decided to splurge on a single back of cheetos to split between the two of us (Splurge in this instance means buying a 1.5 oz. bag for $.99). We grabbed it while waiting in line at Walmart because everything at Walmart is cheaper than everything not at Walmart, duh. Not so! We arrive at Blimpies to discover that they are selling their 1.5 oz. bags of processed chips and cheese for $.89!

You can imagine my heartbreak. ;(

 
On 5/5/08 , Luisa Perkins said...

Alice, the brown eyeliner I wear every day is actually named 'Sable.' And I would never wear charcoal, not at my age. Too harsh!

 
On 6/5/08 , Korie said...

Oh.My.God.(my apologies if that's taking names in vain and/or offending the grammar fascista)but I LOVE the Clan of the Cave Bear series. My aunt (now departed) bought me the first book for my ninth birthday and I devoured it. I got the other three for my tenth birthday and read the last one a week after it came out. I've read all of them numerous times (except the last one, I was dissapointed there). And I agree with the lip balm. Though I'm not sure if I'd go with the shea butter pot from Body Works or one of the Burt's Bees varieties.

 
On 6/5/08 , Virtualsprite said...

Gah... Black widow spiders. I can't imagine how you managed to sleep!

I love Timothy Hutton! Love him! I'm so jealous that you get to see him in person! I haven't seen either of those movies, so now I'm going to have to hunt them down.

Good meme.

 
On 6/5/08 , Jen said...

Your black widow vignette really gave me the creeps - you've got to include that image in one of your novels or stories some time!

My book binge of that type was The Shining after spending 8 weeks working summer stock. I came home, my parents were away, and I basically crashed on the living room couch, and read until I finished. Yeah, it does feel gross. I think I was 18, too, coincidentally!

 
On 7/5/08 , Anonymous said...

How funny, The first movie i went on a date on with my to be husband is to see "made in heaven," okay, it isnt that great of a movie, but what a sentimental piece of film.
Michelle <3