I'm big on traditions and routines for our family. Family Prayer, weekly Family Home Evening on Mondays and weekday Morning Scripture Study: these are the foundation of our religious life at home. But we have many other rituals that are just as important. In the past, we've had Family Movie Night on Saturdays or Sundays, always accompanied by popcorn and chocolate milk. Then there are the pancakes we have for lunch almost every Sunday after church (yes, many of our traditions feature food as the central component). Patrick and I have Date Night on Thursdays; this time is a priority for us both, and the kids respect this commitment.

We're flexible enough to drop an activity when it no longer serves the family's greater good, and we're always on the lookout for something new that will help keep us learning, growing, and enjoying each other's company. Recently, I had a brainstorm for the new year and shared it with the rest of the crew.

Christian, at age 13, needs to be honing serious cooking skills in preparation for adult life. He and all the other kids love time with me in the kitchen, so much so that the bickering over who gets to 'help' can be a problem.

Here's my new solution: Friday night will now become CIA Night, named for the famous Culinary Institute of America just an hour upriver from our house. Each of the four bigger kids will have a Friday night tutorial with Iron Chef Mom (their appellation, not mine) per month, in which we will make a dinner of their choice, then serve it and do the clean-up.

Once in a while we'll have a Guest Chef. Our good friend Mike, who has been to culinary school and whose smoked spare ribs are the best I've ever had, has already agreed to several appearances in Perkins Kitchen Stadium.

The plan was met with great enthusiasm--everyone has already decided what they want to make for January (Christian: Cowboy Stew; James: Jambalaya; Hope: Scratch Mac & Cheese; Tess: Quesadillas). I haven't yet figured out what to do about the occasional fifth Friday night of the month; maybe we'll have a Family Restaurant Review. I'm open to other ideas, though.

I'm excited! Of course, the kids will still be pulling up a chair to watch what I'm doing in the kitchen, probably on a daily basis. But somehow even the prospect of scheduled one-on-one time with Patrick or me can cut a lot of arguing out of the kid mix.

My goal with all of our traditions (and of most of my other parenting strategies) is this: I want our home environment to be so fun, warm, and attractive that it is always everyone's favorite place to be. Of course, family members will always enjoy outside activities, as balanced and healthy individuals should. But I want Home to be first in their hearts. That can't come through compulsion; it only comes through the powerful attractive forces of unconditional love, clear expectations and communication, and absolute safety. Plus good food, of course.